My Grandmother is in a Comma...

It's nearing the end of the semester. When I used to teach in front of students (as opposed to narrating powerpoints, which is what I've been reduced to), I would tell them to warn their grandparents, other close family members, and friends, that this point in the semester posed a serious threat to their health, and possibly their lives. I know this because at the end of every semester (and sometimes in the middle, as well), students are hit by tragedy. Their grandparents die, their childhood friends are killed, a relative is stricken with something that requires the student to maintain a bedside vigil... Of course, all of these things prevent them from taking the final or writing that last paper. So, I would warn them, at the beginning of the semester, that they may want to advise family member to take more precautions then usual around midterms and finals. Some would laugh. Some would not warn their family members and then, as predicted, something would happen. I would then ask for the obituary. I'm serious.
You can imagine how this sort of thing is universal. So, every semester, my husband and brother (both of them teach as well) compare notes on this sort of thing, and on students in general. A few days ago, my brother received an email in which a student told him that her "grandmother is in a comma" Now, call us calloused, but we laughed and laughed. He even said, "this is funny on so many levels". Then we started rehashing old student stories. Like the student who wrote the following in an email to me:
You are probably very surprised that I am emailing you considering I know that you received my previous email where I fired at you good with both barrels. I will admit that I was under a lot of stress and still am.
Or the student who plagiarized my husband's paper and handed it in to him. Or the student who plagiarized a paper on plagiarism.  
I wouldn't say I'm cynical. But I do think it's important for all of you who know and/or are related to college students: dangerous days are ahead. You may end up in a comma.