My Own Greek Chorus

So lately I've been feeling like I have a Greek chorus in my head. This is partly because I just saw (again) "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", one of my favorite movies. But it's also because I really do have something like that in my head; the movie just articulated it as such. It consists of people I know who have strong opinions about some aspect of life. Because I'm either insecure, impressionable, or both, when I do something which they might opine about, I, against my will, imagine what they might say. They're like my own little Greek chorus in my head, booing and cheering for me, shaking their heads, wagging their fingers, and, every once in a while, throwing me a bone by nodding approvingly.

One prominent member of this chorus is--you guessed it--my mom. No mystery here, and if I didn't have a whole chorus of people other than her, I would think I was normal. However, my mom has very strong opinions--very strong opinions--so maybe she's the one who allowed all of the other people to enter. So, for instance, if I watch tv (which I don't very often, in deference to my own will, I'd like to think, but also to this prominent chorus member in my head), I feel as though I've started on the slippery slope to debauchery, laziness and just pure evil. Or if I say that my kids don't go to preschool, I sense the nod of approval from a woman who is singlehandedly trying to rid the planet not only of daycare, but of full-day kindergarten as well (oddly, this unpredictable chorus member is completely against homeschooling).

Another member of this chorus is my sister, who has very strong opinions about, well, everything. She especially zeroes in on shopping and housekeeping. And, actually, she is a renowned chorus member: other people obviously have her in their heads as well. One sister has admitted as much. And, for example, last week, when I bought $300 worth of full-price clothes, my mom (who had been babysitting the sleeping children in the car while I shopped) saw the measly amount of clothes I got for all of that money, looked at them for a minute and said, "don't tell ---". I actually did tell her--as sort of a defiant confession-- and when she said, "oh, who cares" (meaning that sometimes you just have to go full-price), I practically floated out of her house. I'd been dispensed from bargain hunting.

I also have a friend who is something of a fashion maven. Whenever I am in a shoe store, I (unwittingly) imagine her disapproving face as I struggle to make a decision. Anyone with any fashion sense just knows what to buy.

Some of these characters come and go. One of my friends is really nice and whenever I see her she occupies a niche in my head for a few days, shaking her own head whenever I do something petty and small towards others.

Or when I am suffering from the disorganization that is my life, the chorus member that is my husband wags his finger and says, "you need a system".

And I have a friend who, at least to me, appears to feed her children very conscientiously and very well. I sense her stare as I drive up to yet another window for another fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants fast food burrito.

There are definitely worse things than a Greek chorus that you don't need to treat with Lithium. But I do wonder why it is I'm so susceptible to peer pressure that I actually carry it around with me.